The French Connection

Last Saturday was Ludo and Ana's wedding. It was a busy week and day for all of us. For me, one of my concerns was my role as a host for the reception program. Reason why I really had to catch Angie and Ogie for their precious skills as makeover queens hehehe! Ogie made me an upswept hairdo and Angie gave me the smoky look. I requested Angie for the smoky eyes and pale lips as I haven't tried it before and I would only trust her to make it on me. I super love Angie and Ogie!!!

I got my makeup done already late. We left Ana's hotel room at the Grand Boulevard at around 2pm, which gives us an hour to get back home, dress up then proceed to the Kingdom Hall. It was such a tight time. Both Mike and I are so stressed with the short schedule. We came in late for the ceremony and it was the first time we were late for a wedding. We didn't like the idea, but the day was so full of hitches and glitches.

Anyway, thankfully the rains stopped that day. It was raining for the past week and it was fortunate enough that the 2 weddings I attended last week (last Tuesday was Franz's wedding), which were both garden weddings, the weather gave way for a dry one.

Ludo and Ana's wedding was nice and fun with the Filipiniana theme and setting. One that I particularly liked was the folk dance performed by the kids of Greenview. Well, I particularly liked Yumi's dancing hehehe! She dances so gracefully, mana sa ina! :)

And as requested by Ana, I was her french-speaking host. I had a difficult time preparing as I was busy with work. I only finished the script that Saturday morning! We had to at least give consideration to the French wedding guests as they understand only a little English. So I had to translate some important portion of the program so they would understand what's going on. Kawawa naman sila if they do not understand a thing diba!

The first lines I spoke in French, the French people applauded for me. I was surprised, I didn't expect that they would appreciate the effort. Perhaps they didn't expect that the program will be partly French, at least it made their lives much easier. They applauded for me twice, first was when I welcomed everybody, the second when I wished them "Bon appetit!" Europeans, I notice, in general, appreciate these little things more that we do.

I actually honestly enjoyed being the host, and practicing my French there as well. It made me realize that I should be continuously sharpening up my French. Sayang din kasi eh. The time I spent in UP majoring in French then not using it as a career. I originally wanted to be a Bethelite in New York or France and work as a translator, but oh well, some plans change. But I'd still want to hone my language skills and be able to help other people by communicating and connecting with them.

Now that I have new French friends, maybe this will be the time I will use my French more. Thus the French Connection!

Here are some of our pictures below:

with my favorite HMUAs in the world, Ogie Rayel and Angie Cruz

mon amour

pose muna for pictures

french-speaking host kunwari

having fun with the bubbles

Wedding etiquettes

I've come across the article below from weddingsatwork.com, the single most helpful source for my own wedding day (which marks its first year on the 29th!). Had most of my guests read the article below, it is very much well appreciated if they had observed good manners and etiquette at a wedding. I would have greatly pleased if some guests informed us that they wouldn't be able to make it, we could have invited those who are more deserving because of their sincerest intention to attend. Not included in the Q&A below was the effort of keeping the sanctity and intimacy of the event, rather than creating loud shrieks and hollers at the reception. I like fun and lively guests, minus the unnecessary and pointless screams (what was that?!).

To all veterans and newbies at wedding attendance, let me share to you some pointers on wedding etiquettes. It helps to be reminded sometimes. I know for this year there will be lot of weddings to go to (for me there are about 4 weddings) and these manners will somehow uplift your character and represent you as a well-mannered and a person with good breeding. (Lack of good manners and etiquette just peeve me!).

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You're Invited!
Q & A for Wedding Guests
by: John & Benz Rana

Article originally appeared in print: 12.03.05

It's December once again and it not just time for Christmas shopping and partying, but it's also time for weddings! It's the peak season for tying-the-knot in this part of the earth. So how many wedding invites have you gotten so far?

Unless you're serial bride like J.Lo (saying Liz Taylor would have been more accurate at this point but we want to be "kewl" to relate with the Gen Y peeps!), we figured that most of us would be along the pews more often than being at THE altar. This is the reason why we dedicate this month's column to the wedding guest - the person who gets to prepare the least during the wedding.

Never mind the bride! We're sure she has read countless of wedding etiquette to last 'til her unborn son finally gets married. Actually, she's got too much info that she even prepares a Miss Manners list for her groom and her entire entourage to follow.

If it's your first time attending a wedding, what follows is a simple guide of Dos & Don'ts to get through such a social event. Note that we made these questions up so allow us to be sarcastic and blunt with some of our responses to ourselves.

Questions & Answers

Q. I got an invite but have no plans of attending; should I still send a gift?

A. First thing's first. If you won't be able to attend for whatever reason, please RSVP. A big chunk of the wedding budget goes to the reception and it will be utterly inconsiderate to just give up a reserved seat without letting the couple know. Give them the chance to assign that seat to another guest in their "waitlist." Having that out of the way, let's get to your question: YES, it is customary to still send a gift.

Q. The envelope bears only my name. May I ask if I can bring a date?

A. Don't bring a date unless your invitation specifically says "and Guest." Bringing unexpected guests is very impolite. Neither should you ask the couple's permission if you may bring one or not. Don't put your friends on the spot. We Filipinos don't really like turning down people. So how would you know if their "Yes" means yes or not? Spare them that trouble.

Q. The invite says "Mr. & Mrs." Could we bring our kids?

A. Never bring the kids unless "& Family" is indicated. Soon-to-weds don't usually invite children for a good reason. Kids get bored or cranky during hour-long masses. Their tantrums might disrupt the solemnity of the ceremony. Weddings are usually formal events typically not appropriate for the little ones. To be blunt about it, inviting a child at the reception means added two mouths to feed - the kid's and the yaya's.

Follow-up Q. But my son/daughter is the bearer/flower girl. I'm sure it's understood that my other child is invited.

A. Which part of the answer above didn't you understand? Seriously, if the couple wanted to invite your other kid, they would have specified that on the envelope.
2nd follow-up

Q. But I'm breastfeeding, I'm sure my friends will understand, won't they?

A. Granting that it's an infant and he or she won't eat at the reception - let's even assume that your baby won't wail at the church - the answer is still NO! Not even if you've perfected the art of being a cow in a long gown. Four words: Breast Pump and Babysitter!

Q. I don't have a clue what gift to give them. Any ideas?

A. The average Pinoy soon-to-wed would always prefer monetary gifts more than any other gift. It is the unspoken fact. We're telling you now to make it easier for them to let you know what they REALLY want; unless they indicated that already in their invites which, by the way, is a very tacky thing to do.
If you're not comfortable giving cash, you may ask the couple where they are registered (Gift / Bridal Registry) and choose from what's listed under their names in the store. You can also ask them where they're residing after the wedding and take the cue from there. If you know that they'll be migrating abroad or living with their parents for the time being, a ref or another oven toaster may not be the most practical and logical gift.

Q. I'm convinced. So how much cash should I give them? I don't want to give too little or too much.

A. That's a hard thing to answer. It's really a case-to-case thing. Try to put yourself in the couple's shoes. How much should a guest of your stature give you without being branded a cheapskate? Also consider your relationship with the couple. If you're good friends of the couple's parents, you'll probably shell-out more than if you were simply the bride's Girl Friday.

Q. Could I skip the ceremony and head straight to the reception?

A. You can. BUT you shouldn't! You are invited to THE wedding -- that's the part where they exchange their "I dos." The reception is where the Receiving Line is. You can't be 'received' if you are already seated in the hall, right? "Patay-gutom" is too harsh a word and we assure you that it's by no means what anyone would think if indeed you decide to go straight to the reception. But admit that it struck a nerve just mentioning the word in that context, isn't it?

Q. Speaking of the Receiving Line, what should be the proper greeting?

A. Here's the rule: Say "Congratulations" to the groom and "Best Wishes" to the bride. The reason behind is that "congrats" implies that someone has caught something or won a prize, and it is rather improper to imply that the bride "caught" the man who married her. If this rule gets mixed-up in your head come wedding day, just say the two phrases together and look at both of them. That usually works!
Likewise, saying "Good Luck!" no matter how pure your wishes are will also sound very inappropriate for obvious reasons.

Q. Nice try, but what if the couple makes a Grand Entrance and left the Receiving Line to their parents? What then should I tell them? Note that I don't even know which sets of parents are whose.

A. Didn't we tell you already not to skip the ceremony? The bride and groom usually walk alongside their respective parents at the very start!
Anyway, make your pleasantries short and sweet. Shake their hands and say "Hello! I'm (your name) and I went to school with (name of bride/groom) in (school's name)/an officemate of (name of bride/groom) at (name of company)." They usually respond with "Nice meeting you." Just smile, nod politely, and move on to the next person. If one replies "Hi! I've heard so much about you!", simply smile and nod just the same. No lengthy conversation; just make small talk at most. If you can't find the words to say, just smile again, nod politely, and move.

Q. During the banquet, is there anything I need to know?

A. Nowadays, the Reception Program usually have the guests on each table stand up and have their picture taken with the couple before being led to the buffet. This is done to resolve two issues of past weddings: (a) for the couple's convenience and skip the tiring Table-Hopping ritual just to have their picture taken with all their guests; and (b) for the guests' convenience so they won't have to wait very long for their turn in the buffet line.
Keep in mind that Buffet is NOT synonymous with "Eat-All-You-Can." Do not pile your plate full. Be courteous of those who have yet to be served. Don't worry. You can easily go for seconds.

Q. I'm used to a Buffet setting, but what if it's a formal Sit-Down Dinner? Which fork do I start with again?

A. You're on your own, pal. Watch "Pretty Woman" again and see how Julia Roberts nailed it!

Guestlists and Guests

One of the hardest things in planning a wedding is coming up with your guest list. Part of our Pinoy culture is to invite everyone we know. Be it be our bosom friends, former classmates, colleagues, relatives up to the nth degree, acquaintances, family friends, even people we are not close with. An engaged couple is expected to generate the list most of the time just to please everybody and make happy anyone that will come along their way.

But in these hard times, it is just not practical to invite the whole bayan. Mainly because budget is such a huge consideration in making a wedding possible. Wedding reception comprises already the 60% of the total budget. And how much that percentage actually translates into cash depends on how many you are inviting.

Just where do you start writing the names? It is just as difficult as recalling which people have made your life totally worth it. Of course, your immediate family and relatives must be part of your special day. Your friends, colleagues, family friends, brothers and sister in the faith, which are currently and have been part of your lives, whether when you were single or engaged, count too.

You have all the names, but keeping them to your minimum number is a lot harder. When you’re working to a 150 list, you need all the necessary reasons why someone deserves the honor of being invited. After all, it will be an issue why someone was not part of the list (as if it was a royal wedding J ). Only the couple has the single right on who becomes a part of their special day. They will solely decide and no one has to intervene on that.

But just how satisfied a couple is with their guestlist after the wedding? Just as in any project or cashflow, expect something like 15-20% downfall with the forecast. In our case, some of the downfall cancelled a week before which allowed us to replace the slots. During the actual day, two tables were missing with people. These people were the ones who confirmed in attending but sadly, didn’t show up. It was really unfortunate. These were already counted and paid heads. It is really gracious that when you can’t really make it, let the couple know. I had friends who won’t be able to come who informed me days before or even the day itself. That is was well taken, since a lot of these people had their valid reasons for not coming. But there are some who really didn’t care. Not even a word. It is just not their disregard but the people who we might have taken in. We carefully made the list making sure that everyone important to us is there.

But if these people didn’t realize the inconsideration, we might as well invited people who are sincerely happy for us. We took out of the list friends whom we haven’t seen for years, but days after our wedding genuinely congratulated us. We excluded people whom there have been petty gaps, but were there when the family needed them. We wanted to save face, but it our own guilt that is affecting us. The uninvited members of the congregation were the ones who wished us really well the way we weren’t made feel by those invited. I remember one elderly brother who weakly shook our hands and expressed how joyful he is for us and how he thought we were perfectly made for each other. I felt so guilty that time I wanted to put up a party just for those not there during the day.

It was so heartwarming that there are people who really cared and genuine, which in turn, doesn’t mean that all invitees are as sincere as well. I recall a couple, who before our wedding, made comments to my then-fiancé that they will be happy as long as he is happy and they will support him. In Filipino, kung saan ka masaya, suportahan taka. If I could just take them out of the list I would. Their remarks were distasteful and lacked proper breeding. They are quick in making judgments and conclusions. My only message is, Get all your facts right and It is your business to mind your own business!

But then again, it is said that you should never rely your happiness on your whether your guests had a great time, were ecstatic or were actually there at your wedding. After all, you can’t please everybody. Even if you treated them well or spent your last centavo just to serve them the elusive caviar, there will always be statements circulating, whether these are true or just figments of the imagination. I remember a wawie posting a message telling us that do not be sad if your guests had nasty comments, but be sad because you invited someone who is not able to appreciate the honor of being invited. This goes to those who forgot and those who had always something to say. But whatever it is, what is important is getting married. After all, after the wedding, it just falls down to the both of you.

busy schedule, busy lives

Some updates and what happened in the past weeks:

May 30
Trial Makeup and Prenup Pictorial

We had our joint trial HMU and prenup pictorial. HMU is done by Angie Cruz and Ogie Rayel, prenup pics are by Dino Lara. Angie and Ogie are freelance hair and makeup artists who usually does the makeup of Summit Magazine models. I came to know them thru WeddingsAtWork, and they are currently garnering a lot of great reviews there. Dino, as I have posted in my previous post, was a favorite photographer of mine. I felt that I have to go get all my means just to be able to hire him.

Our trial makeup lasted for around 1 ½ hours. Angie and Ogie create really good makeup that would complement one’s features. Angie did a number which looked like Claudine’s makeup on her day. When I looked at my makeup, it seemed makapal for me, but my fiancé said it looked great. Feeling ko lang makapal because hindi ako sanay using pink and brown on my eyes. But when I saw the pictures, my makeup registered very nicely. And I liked how my skin turned out, it was really glowing! I think Angie uses primer kaya ganun. My hair was also pretty, it hid my large forehead. I had an idea in mind on how I wanted my hair, and Ogie was conceptualizing the same. My hair turned out really awesome.

Then came the photo shoot. Robert of Dino Lara was the one who did the photos for us, and will also be the one assigned on our day. Robert is really good and really funny, as in F-U-N-N-Y! As Gracita had described him, he is like Willie Revillame. Dino said that Robert is a part-time photographer and full-time clown. Robert makes us laugh all during the shoot. Kaya in our pictures, M. and I had those big smiles, which is good I think kasi our smiles look really natural and hindi pilit. I was really mahiyain during the shoot, which is ironic kasi I’m a photo addict. I’m not used lang to studio pictorials. Surprisingly, husband-to-be is really comfortable and was game during the shoot.

After the studio shoot, we went to Makati Park for our outdoor shot. We wanted a place na somewhere near lang since we wanted to do away with the fuss of long drives and enduring traffic. Makati Park is a nice place and I knew there were a lot of couples who also have their outdoor shots done there. Yun lang, they need pa permit before we can shoot. Dino’s team usually encounter problems na even if they have permits, the guards would still ask them which takes away a lot of time. Reason why we had to be discreet. I put Robert’s camera on my bag and pretended to be walking around. When the guards weren’t looking (I’m surprised that there were a LOT of guards there, even more than a bank has!), Robert went to a nearby area, behind a small tree, and started taking pictures. Then we projected naman our picture-worthy poses and mega-watt smiles. We were laughing kasi Robert was hiding pala behind a trash can! Nakakatuwa sya kasi game talaga. When we saw the pics (we got them after the shoot, burn kagad si Robert upon returning to the studio), ang gaganda ng outputs! Raw shots pa lang yun pero panalo na. What more if they had put effects pa. I’m really looking forward to our wedding pics and how they will make those look more dramatic. One of our best suppliers talaga. Worth the price. J

And on another note, when I went home after all the studio and outdoor pictorial, my makeup is still intact and my face didn’t become a bit oily. Galing galing talaga nila Angie and Ogie. My mom said my makeup looks great and she wanted the same MU for her!

June 2, 2006
Gown Fitting with Cecilio

After braving the rain, we went to Cecil’s shop for my second fitting and Mike first of his suit. We’re were late for our appointment, buti na lang meron pang client si Cecil kaya hindi nainip waiting for us. I think that client of him was getting married in a few days. I can feel the excitement of the bride and groom and the family. Ganun din siguro kami days before the big day.

Mike went in to fit his suit. Goodness, he looked great! His suit suited him really awesome. According to Cecil, hind daw lahat ng guys bagay magsuit. But on Mike, he said bagay na bagay. I then went in to fit my gown. At first I thought di pa na-zip kaya maluwag. Yun pala, talagang maluwag! I lost na naman weight. I don’t know if I’m gonna be worried na baka I might be the anorexic bride, but I think it’s too late na to gain weight kasi my gown is again adjusted. But my weight now is my ideal weight for my height, and this is the first time in a long time na I actually can tell I’m really slim na. hindi lang ako sanay with my current weight.

June 17
Do It Youself Souvenirs

We started making our souvenirs which are gel candles with actual Boacay sand and real shells at the bottom. We were able to finish all 90 pieces, but sans the gel yet. We have to secure help pa with our expert friends on how to do it. Pero madali na lang daw yun. In just 4 hours, we finished the designing of the Boracay sand and various shells on the bottom of the glasses. They are all awesome! After we will put the gel, we plan to paste on each a clear sticker with our momogram and our wedding date on it. We got the idea from theknot.com. We hope our guests would love them. Our souvenirs describe our love for the beach and our wedding theme as well.

picture junkie

Preparations are ongoing, and it’s making us so ngarag! Especially me na sobrang worrier. I don’t want to be thinking and worrying about a lot of things about the wedding. Nakakawindang! Budget most especially, I want to do away with payments and check-issues. It’s getting crazy!

Inasmuch as we want to make the wedding a lot simpler, I guess that’s just not possible. A wedding is just once in a lifetime event, and everybody must make the best out of it. Minsan lang yun eh dapat the best na. Tutal, you’ll only get married once. And you’re just giving yourself some slack! But the only thing I really think that must be invested on would be the photographs. I got the most talented wedding photographer. I had to justify to my fiancé (and to myself as well) why I’m getting Dino Lara. He’s the priciest one in the market right now. Kaya even if expensive sya, I reasoned out with my love why we should get him. M. agreed naman, and he understands how I feel, and wants to give me what I wanted. I told him, pakialaman na nya lahat about the wedding, except for Dino! Hahaha! I was introduced to Dino’s works long way before I even had a serious relationship to get married to. I was already impressed by his talent that time. I told myself that Dino’s gonna me my photographer if ever I’ll get married (those times I was still depressed and thinking that I’m ending up to be an old maid J). When me and my fiancé finally started the wedding preps, I had nothing in mind but Dino. When we discussed about his rates, we were somehow still contemplating, but eventually we agreed on getting him. When I arranged a meeting with Dino to discuss his services and give our DP, something happened.

I saw another equally great photographer. I was all of a sudden confused on who to get. In my confusion, my fiancé told me (maybe even irritatingly) to finally make up my mind. I was really utterly in pieces. This other photographer offers cheaper service and his style is really good. But I cannot fathom why I cannot choose another photographer over Dino. I kept going back to him and using him as my benchmark. Just to spare me the hassle of thinking whether the other photographer will get the “Dino style”, I decided to book Dino as soon as possible. We then had to pay him the DP immediately so I’d stop changing my mind (maybe all Dino brides can relate to me).

Which just shows, I’m really a photo freak. That’s why documenting my wedding thru pictures is such a great deal to me. And I just want the best guy to do it for me.