I Love Being A Mom

Of every role that I have done and been doing, being a mom I guess is at the top of the list. It gives me a reason to smile that at the end of the day that I have a home to go to where my husband and my baby are eagerly waiting for me.

I can never imagine a happier life than this.

True, the harsh realities of life like paying bills and fees for the baby’s diapers and vaccination set in like a sting every month. But as what the author of a recent article I’ve read, said that she can’t think of anything better to spend her money on than her child.

I’m aware that the above statement may trigger adverse reactions from single people, saying that I am a smug and just have no choice.

But really, had I known that motherhood will be the only thing that can give me pure joy, I could have done it earlier.

When my baby looks at me, wants me and knows that I am his mother, nothing in the world matters anymore. Even if there are work issues to deal with or financial affairs needing to be settled.

I realized that everything I had aspired in life, nothing can be at par with motherhood. It gives me a different feeling of high but at the same time making me tamer.

I learned how to be more patient and understanding when my baby had his bouts with colic when he was just 2 weeks old. I understood how vulnerable my son can be when he’s hurting, reason he’s crying for a few hours at a time. That virtue of patience extended up to the people outside the home. I became more enduring and tolerant of other’s whims and differences.

I discovered that whatever you are in your career or your life, being a mom is a humbling experience. You can’t be domineering or act like a boss. It starts you off to love and take care of somebody without questions or conditions. That’s why they say that parenting is loving your child unconditionally. No ifs, no buts.

But when your baby flashes at you his sweet toothless smile upon seeing you when you get home, loving unconditionally doesn’t feel like work at all. Even if you are dead tired from working and surging through the city’s heavy traffic, all you want to do to see and hug your two great loves.

Being a mom is part of the pie that I am willing to get as much of a slice I can get. And having that piece is what I enjoy doing the most.

At the end of the day, I am just a mommy to my beautiful son – and I am proud of it.

Remembering Jane

While I was rummaging through my office stuff as preparation for our transfer to a lower floor, I saw an old photo. It was a picture of me, Marie, Cita and Jane taken on the eve of Jane’s brain surgery in 2003. It brought back sad memories of a dear friend who had already departed.

A note made by Jane at the back of the photo said:
“Nyt before d operation (14 May 2003) w/ my officem8ts…and
“Kirk”...my favorite stuff toy…”

In the photo: Marie, Jane, me, Cita

Jane was diagnosed of brain tumor in April 2003, though the doctors determined it was benign. I could still remember Jane being so brave about it all. I was telling her of my own experience when I was myself operated back in 2000 for meningioma. I kept telling her to be strong and everything’s gonna be alright the next day, as it was for me.

Her operation was successful. However, as consequence of the tumor that beleaguered her brain, she would have to learn to live a life with severe headaches and seizures. Jane had to regularly take medications to prevent her from having seizures. Just missing one piece of that medicine would mean definite seizure for her. Our common friends have seen her bouts of seizures and they would cry over her during those moments. I haven’t seen her on any of her seizures, but I guess I would have panicked as well.

Last year, Jane’s brother died due to a kidney failure. Jane called me the night her brother died and she was crying. All I could do was utter words of comfort but I know I couldn’t take away the pain she and her family are experiencing. Her brother’s death made Jane realize even more how vulnerable she is herself of her own illness. She was afraid to know the truth that’s why she refused to have her regular checkups with the doctor.

By the time she had to see the doctor because of unbearable headaches, it was when she knew the tumor grew back. I think it grew double than it was the first time. She felt so sad about it. She didn’t even want to tell her parents about it. But her parents noticed her failing health and her frequent headaches.

One day she told me that she had to take an MRI for a further check but she had no budget for it. I told her that as a regular employee of her company, she can’t admit herself in the hospital so that her company’s health insurance will cover her MRI exam. After that I haven’t heard of her. It turned out that she went home in Bataan and eventually she had herself confined to the hospital when one time she refused to wake up. Her mom recounted to me that she was trying to wake Jane up but she wouldn’t. Her tumor had affected her brain to the point that it was already swollen, resulting in her comatose-like condition.

We visited Jane in hospital sometime early this year. It was one of her countless admission to the hospital. She was in the ICU of a Bataan hospital. I could not recognize Jane as her face and body were swollen from the medications administered to her. She also had a lot of rashes as a result also of her medicines. It was an entirely different Jane. We had to take turns to try to talk to her. When one of our friends was whispering to her ear and told her that we were all there to see her, her tears were falling even if her eyes were closed. She was in such in a desolate state.

The first of May I received a phone call from Jane’s mom. I was nervous as I thought I knew what it was about. She was sobbing while telling me the news: Jane has died. It was really heartbreaking.

I could not imagine that she’s really gone. I have lost a dear friend. We had shared so many ups and downs in our lives. I think there was no day I haven’t thought of her since she died. Everytime I pass by Max Brenner in Greenbelt, I would remember the dinners we’ve shared over happy and sad stories. Just even seeing the Greenbelt façade brings back memories of our short but meaningful friendship. It feels like she’s still alive, only we’re not seeing each other.

But at least, she’s no longer suffering.

The French Connection

Last Saturday was Ludo and Ana's wedding. It was a busy week and day for all of us. For me, one of my concerns was my role as a host for the reception program. Reason why I really had to catch Angie and Ogie for their precious skills as makeover queens hehehe! Ogie made me an upswept hairdo and Angie gave me the smoky look. I requested Angie for the smoky eyes and pale lips as I haven't tried it before and I would only trust her to make it on me. I super love Angie and Ogie!!!

I got my makeup done already late. We left Ana's hotel room at the Grand Boulevard at around 2pm, which gives us an hour to get back home, dress up then proceed to the Kingdom Hall. It was such a tight time. Both Mike and I are so stressed with the short schedule. We came in late for the ceremony and it was the first time we were late for a wedding. We didn't like the idea, but the day was so full of hitches and glitches.

Anyway, thankfully the rains stopped that day. It was raining for the past week and it was fortunate enough that the 2 weddings I attended last week (last Tuesday was Franz's wedding), which were both garden weddings, the weather gave way for a dry one.

Ludo and Ana's wedding was nice and fun with the Filipiniana theme and setting. One that I particularly liked was the folk dance performed by the kids of Greenview. Well, I particularly liked Yumi's dancing hehehe! She dances so gracefully, mana sa ina! :)

And as requested by Ana, I was her french-speaking host. I had a difficult time preparing as I was busy with work. I only finished the script that Saturday morning! We had to at least give consideration to the French wedding guests as they understand only a little English. So I had to translate some important portion of the program so they would understand what's going on. Kawawa naman sila if they do not understand a thing diba!

The first lines I spoke in French, the French people applauded for me. I was surprised, I didn't expect that they would appreciate the effort. Perhaps they didn't expect that the program will be partly French, at least it made their lives much easier. They applauded for me twice, first was when I welcomed everybody, the second when I wished them "Bon appetit!" Europeans, I notice, in general, appreciate these little things more that we do.

I actually honestly enjoyed being the host, and practicing my French there as well. It made me realize that I should be continuously sharpening up my French. Sayang din kasi eh. The time I spent in UP majoring in French then not using it as a career. I originally wanted to be a Bethelite in New York or France and work as a translator, but oh well, some plans change. But I'd still want to hone my language skills and be able to help other people by communicating and connecting with them.

Now that I have new French friends, maybe this will be the time I will use my French more. Thus the French Connection!

Here are some of our pictures below:

with my favorite HMUAs in the world, Ogie Rayel and Angie Cruz

mon amour

pose muna for pictures

french-speaking host kunwari

having fun with the bubbles

I still have the fever

My blog friend, Wella, has been kidding me that I still write about weddings in my blog. Perhaps I feel like I'm an aspiring wedding coordinator, or I just simply love weddings.

I still have the hangover on my own wedding almost a year ago.

Just yesterday, I was surfing the Net looking at the sites and craving at the creations of Dino Lara, Mimi and Karl, Cecilio Abad and Veluz Reyes.

Their works are just soooo great I think I am already salivating.

Why do I still have the fever? I certainly do not know, but definitely there a lot of reasons.

Perhaps because I will be attending 4 weddings this year (I think the most I've attended in a year and at one of which I was tapped to be the emcee! Whewwwww!).

Perhaps I'm a frustrated or aspiring wedding coordinator (I have been urging a sister-in-law to choose a burgundy or wine red and gold motif for her December wedding, gave a friend a lot of wawie tips for her 080808 wedding and gave her the contact number of my favorite makeup artists Angie and Ogie).

Perhaps I love up dressing up on the nines for occassions.

Perhaps I enjoy the friendships I made with my favorite suppliers and keep on recommending them to engaged friends.

Perhaps, I just love reminiscing about my wedding over and over again. It was the moment I felt I was at my prettiest (they say a woman is at her most beautiful on her wedding day. Walang kokontra! Hehehe!). It was indeed the happiest day of my and Mike's lives.

I could still remember every detail of that day as if it happened just yesterday.

And perhaps because, in 2 days, it will be our first wedding anniversary. Maybe my mind and body is in the same feelings and senses as it was on the same day in 2006.

That is, having the wedding fever and wanting to get married all over again.

Of course, to Mike pa rin! Nobody else.