The best feeling in the world

I felt the urge to share a text message forwarded by my friend. She said that I'll feel the kilig upon reading. See if you'll feel the same.

What's the best feeling in the world?

It's when you're both sleeping in a cold night...

You turn around, seeing him in his most innocent state,

You kiss him gently, making sure you won't wake him up,

You turn your back and a smile lights up your face,

Suddenly you feel an arm hug your waist, a warm breath on the back of your neck,

Then you hear him say...

"I love you."


So for all the hopeless romantics and everyone with a special someone out there, this is for you.

And I guess more so for those people who have found The One, for I know the little thought above affects you most. It may sound cheesy, but of course, you know how being loved feels like.

'Cause I do...

Finally we're in Multiply!

For sometime I was looking for sites where I can store pictures and share them online. However, I was experiencing difficulties in uploading and many of these sites were offering limited features. My friend Eben recommended that I try Multiply but I was hesitant since Multiply, like Friendster, is restricted only during lunchtime and after office hours.

So last Sunday, I saw the Photostory software on my laptop and I thought of trying of making a slideshow of our wedding pictures, which didn’t work out quite well when I used Windows Movie Maker. I discovered that Photostory is so easy to use and doesn’t occupy much capacity. So with the lesser MB it has, I tried uploading it to my long pending Multiply account and viola, it uploaded successfully.

That was when I started migrating the pictures from Flicker and then uploading some more. Uploading pictures is faster and more convenient by sending it through the Multiply email. It will be directly sent to your own Multiply site.

That’s the time I appreciated Multiply so much. It has more flexibilities and features that other sites don’t offer. I uploaded pictures of our wedding so some of our friends and relatives will finally (!) be able to see our photographer’s shots. I also put in there the Photostory videos of our wedding ceremony and reception. I will still be blogging here at Blogger though but my blog is cross-posted to Multiply so you will be able to view it there also.

That’s why during lunchtime I’m beginning to be busy updating my Multiply.

Visit our Multiply site at http://mikewendy.multiply.com/.

Remembering Jane

While I was rummaging through my office stuff as preparation for our transfer to a lower floor, I saw an old photo. It was a picture of me, Marie, Cita and Jane taken on the eve of Jane’s brain surgery in 2003. It brought back sad memories of a dear friend who had already departed.

A note made by Jane at the back of the photo said:
“Nyt before d operation (14 May 2003) w/ my officem8ts…and
“Kirk”...my favorite stuff toy…”

In the photo: Marie, Jane, me, Cita

Jane was diagnosed of brain tumor in April 2003, though the doctors determined it was benign. I could still remember Jane being so brave about it all. I was telling her of my own experience when I was myself operated back in 2000 for meningioma. I kept telling her to be strong and everything’s gonna be alright the next day, as it was for me.

Her operation was successful. However, as consequence of the tumor that beleaguered her brain, she would have to learn to live a life with severe headaches and seizures. Jane had to regularly take medications to prevent her from having seizures. Just missing one piece of that medicine would mean definite seizure for her. Our common friends have seen her bouts of seizures and they would cry over her during those moments. I haven’t seen her on any of her seizures, but I guess I would have panicked as well.

Last year, Jane’s brother died due to a kidney failure. Jane called me the night her brother died and she was crying. All I could do was utter words of comfort but I know I couldn’t take away the pain she and her family are experiencing. Her brother’s death made Jane realize even more how vulnerable she is herself of her own illness. She was afraid to know the truth that’s why she refused to have her regular checkups with the doctor.

By the time she had to see the doctor because of unbearable headaches, it was when she knew the tumor grew back. I think it grew double than it was the first time. She felt so sad about it. She didn’t even want to tell her parents about it. But her parents noticed her failing health and her frequent headaches.

One day she told me that she had to take an MRI for a further check but she had no budget for it. I told her that as a regular employee of her company, she can’t admit herself in the hospital so that her company’s health insurance will cover her MRI exam. After that I haven’t heard of her. It turned out that she went home in Bataan and eventually she had herself confined to the hospital when one time she refused to wake up. Her mom recounted to me that she was trying to wake Jane up but she wouldn’t. Her tumor had affected her brain to the point that it was already swollen, resulting in her comatose-like condition.

We visited Jane in hospital sometime early this year. It was one of her countless admission to the hospital. She was in the ICU of a Bataan hospital. I could not recognize Jane as her face and body were swollen from the medications administered to her. She also had a lot of rashes as a result also of her medicines. It was an entirely different Jane. We had to take turns to try to talk to her. When one of our friends was whispering to her ear and told her that we were all there to see her, her tears were falling even if her eyes were closed. She was in such in a desolate state.

The first of May I received a phone call from Jane’s mom. I was nervous as I thought I knew what it was about. She was sobbing while telling me the news: Jane has died. It was really heartbreaking.

I could not imagine that she’s really gone. I have lost a dear friend. We had shared so many ups and downs in our lives. I think there was no day I haven’t thought of her since she died. Everytime I pass by Max Brenner in Greenbelt, I would remember the dinners we’ve shared over happy and sad stories. Just even seeing the Greenbelt façade brings back memories of our short but meaningful friendship. It feels like she’s still alive, only we’re not seeing each other.

But at least, she’s no longer suffering.

I'm a Charlotte!

My friend Eben forwarded me a link of a quiz that will determine which Sex and the City character I relate most to. Well, I've always thought I'm a Carrie (I think every girl does!) with her personality and everything that's happened to her. But I guess deep down I'm a Charlotte indeed. Or maybe a combination of Carrie and Charlotte. I guess I'd always have a Carrie in me somehow.

And perhaps the most significant thing that made me a Charlotte? It's still believing in love, after all.

You Are Most Like Charlotte!

You are the ultimate romantic idealist You've been hurt before, but that hasn't caused you to give up on love. If anything, your resolve to fall in love is stronger than ever. And it's this feminine optimism that men find most appealing about you. Romantic prediction: That guy you are seeing (or crushing on)? Could be very serious - if you play your cards right!

Which Sex and the City Vixen Are You?

The French Connection

Last Saturday was Ludo and Ana's wedding. It was a busy week and day for all of us. For me, one of my concerns was my role as a host for the reception program. Reason why I really had to catch Angie and Ogie for their precious skills as makeover queens hehehe! Ogie made me an upswept hairdo and Angie gave me the smoky look. I requested Angie for the smoky eyes and pale lips as I haven't tried it before and I would only trust her to make it on me. I super love Angie and Ogie!!!

I got my makeup done already late. We left Ana's hotel room at the Grand Boulevard at around 2pm, which gives us an hour to get back home, dress up then proceed to the Kingdom Hall. It was such a tight time. Both Mike and I are so stressed with the short schedule. We came in late for the ceremony and it was the first time we were late for a wedding. We didn't like the idea, but the day was so full of hitches and glitches.

Anyway, thankfully the rains stopped that day. It was raining for the past week and it was fortunate enough that the 2 weddings I attended last week (last Tuesday was Franz's wedding), which were both garden weddings, the weather gave way for a dry one.

Ludo and Ana's wedding was nice and fun with the Filipiniana theme and setting. One that I particularly liked was the folk dance performed by the kids of Greenview. Well, I particularly liked Yumi's dancing hehehe! She dances so gracefully, mana sa ina! :)

And as requested by Ana, I was her french-speaking host. I had a difficult time preparing as I was busy with work. I only finished the script that Saturday morning! We had to at least give consideration to the French wedding guests as they understand only a little English. So I had to translate some important portion of the program so they would understand what's going on. Kawawa naman sila if they do not understand a thing diba!

The first lines I spoke in French, the French people applauded for me. I was surprised, I didn't expect that they would appreciate the effort. Perhaps they didn't expect that the program will be partly French, at least it made their lives much easier. They applauded for me twice, first was when I welcomed everybody, the second when I wished them "Bon appetit!" Europeans, I notice, in general, appreciate these little things more that we do.

I actually honestly enjoyed being the host, and practicing my French there as well. It made me realize that I should be continuously sharpening up my French. Sayang din kasi eh. The time I spent in UP majoring in French then not using it as a career. I originally wanted to be a Bethelite in New York or France and work as a translator, but oh well, some plans change. But I'd still want to hone my language skills and be able to help other people by communicating and connecting with them.

Now that I have new French friends, maybe this will be the time I will use my French more. Thus the French Connection!

Here are some of our pictures below:

with my favorite HMUAs in the world, Ogie Rayel and Angie Cruz

mon amour

pose muna for pictures

french-speaking host kunwari

having fun with the bubbles

It's all part of the act

I have been ‘bedridden’ for the past 3 weeks. I have a little pregnancy complication called sub-chorionic hemorrhage. It was seen in my first routine ultrasound last month. I didn’t have spotting yet but internal bleeding in the uterus is where it begins. My OB recommended complete bed rest for 2 weeks along with medications.

I was a bit worried of the situation but my doctor said it happens and it will resolve spontaneously. Good thing, my OB is super nice. She is Dra. Cecilia Reyes of Asian Hospital and Medical Center. She is so accommodating and warm to her patients. We have that kind of doctor-patient relationship that you would really appreciate. She reminds me of my equally great neuro-opthalmologist, Dr. Froilan Inocencio of Makati Medical Center. Dr. Inocencio was the one who operated on me in 2000 when I had meningioma. He is super mabait and funny. I never felt afraid during that difficult time in my health because he would always assure us that everything will be okay. Even after that on my routine consultations with him, he never fails to make me laugh. A good doctor really helps as their main responsibility is not only to heal physically but also psychologically. I’m thankful I’ve found these great doctors. I really like Dra. Reyes as I know I will not a scared come labor and delivery time.

As to my condition right now, I stayed at home for exactly 3 weeks now. I got really really bored even if I was entertained by the TV and I have my laptop with me at home. It is a different feeling if you don’t see anything or anybody else. I just have to be at home and in bed all the time, also avoiding going up and down the stairs. Hay hirap! Akala ko nga I will be falling into clinical depression na eh! For someone who is used to working and getting anywhere and everywhere, it was a total change for me to be just at home. Ok lang kung nasa bahay if I can do chores around the house so I won’t get bored, pero hindi din ako pwede mag-exert ng too much effort. Otherwise, it will bad for the baby and the bleeding might get worse. No wonder, some of the plain housewives I know are ‘desperate’ (this will be discussed in another story ;))

The doctor has given me the green light to resume work next week provided I feel ok and there will be no external bleeding or spotting. Makulit lang ako eh, tumawad ako if I can go back to work. OB is reluctant but I assured her that I won’t tire myself too much and I’m making arrangements for safer and easier travel to and from work. I miss work and my friends in the office. But I have a lot of thinking and contemplating about a lot of things and I guess the sabbatical helped tremendously with so many things.

Right now, there have been a lot of physical changes in my body. I’m also having a lot of nausea and vomiting! The thing I hate. It usually comes 10am-2pm and then again around 10pm-12mn. Galing diba? May oras talaga. It’s a good thing nasa bahay lang ako, pwede ako mag­­-vomit with mega emote hehehe! It’s irritating, you’ve just eaten, tapos you’ll feel like you just wanna throw it all back up. I want to gain at least minimal weight now but OB said that since vomiting and lack of appetite happens at this stage, I should expect no or little weight gain. It is normal and I will probably get back with my appetite in my fourth month. I was asking Tine, who a Registered Dietician, for some diet advice and she said that I could just eat anything since I’m already in my ideal weight.

I also saw Baby Peanut in my ultrasounds. His or her heart beat is really good and strong now and nakakatuwa to hear the heartbeat! He/She is already a human being now! I can't wait to see him/her in 6 months. I just hope that myself and Baby Peanut will be doing fine in the next weeks.

We're pregnant! part deux

It still feels surreal. I’ve only read about this in books and now it’s happening to me. I feel overwhelmed with everything that childbirth and motherhood will entail. I believe that this is a force bigger than me. The responsibilities of parenthood are such so colossal that if you didn’t raise your child well you have seriously failed at that. But under all circumstances, even if you have tried all your best, sometimes children have their mind and decisions of their own.

But why should I even be thinking about that? It’s way too early yet! I’m 5 weeks into the family way and all I have to concentrate on making my baby healthy at his point. Problem with me is that I think super forward. Hahaha! Maybe I’m just intuitive and wanting to anticipate things before they could even happen as long as these are things I can control.

Last Sunday when I made the test and the results came out positive, I had mixed emotions. I was happy and scared at the same time. Happy because finally we’re having a baby. Scared because parenthood I know is a difficult 20-year project (or even a lifetime!).

But more than that, we are very thankful for the precious gift. We are fortunate enough to be given such a blessing to rear and raise a child.

Up to now, I still can’t believe it. The truth hasn’t sunk in yet that we’re going to be parents in 8 months.

The moment I saw the two stripes I was screaming for my hubby to see it. We were laughing, not believing it. Since that time, Mike has been more caring and maasikaso to me (as he usually is), ensuring that I am always safe and comforable.

Right now, I am always conscious of my pregnancy. I would avoid walking too fast or carelessly walking through people as Mench told me that I should not have my tummy hit. The first trimester is delicate that I really have to be careful. I try to eat right by including fruits and vegetables in my meals everytime. I always remember to take my prenatal vitamins and milk. Folic acid and calcium are very important at this time.

I also need to condition my mind about pain. I expect a lot of pain especially during childbirth. Every check-up with the doctor would mean all this tests and examination and all that (every mom would know what these are). Kaya I have to practice "Mind over body". If I don't help myself in managing pain ako din ang mahihirapan. Maybe I need to attend Lamaze or Bradley classes and read books on Pain Management.

And most importantly, I need to be happy all the time. I avoid people who piss me off, baka mapaglihian ko sila hahaha! Dapat si Mike lang titignan ko! Bawal tumingin ng aesthetically unpleasant or those with negative vibes! People who take the energy and positive traits from you - emotional and energy vampires they are. I’m taking Mench’s advice of just being cheerful and having high spirits all the time. That’s why I just want to be with positive people.

I will be doing all these for the next 8 months.

We're pregnant!

Yes we are!

Take a look at the famous two pink lines.

After exactly our first year wedding anniversary, we are conceiving. Talk about being exact as planned.

We're are really happy that there will be a new addition to the family. And Bianca will have a playmate already.

Kuya Mike is excited and hopes that it will be a baby boy. Of course, para may kalaro na sya at kasama sa kakulitan. I could just imagine how dad and son will be as makulit as each other.

We had our first visit to the OB yesterday and so far everything turned out be ok.

I hope that my pregnancy will be alright throughout and that I will be able to overcome the pregnancy and birth pains as I have low pain tolerance. Hahaha!

Above all, I hope our baby will be fine and well.

We thank Jehovah for this wonderful gift.

My cute niece

I'm a doting aunt to my 3-month old niece, Madeline Bianca. She is just so incredibly cute and adorable. She looks a lot like Zappi when she was still a baby.
I'm just simply so smitten with her.

See her pictures below so you'll see why.

Now that she's 3 months old, she responds to the people around her. We regularly see her every week as a week shouldn't pass without visiting her. And everytime I peep into her crib, she always smiles back at me upon seeing me.

Ain't that really heartwarming?

She loves to smile and play with us. At times it seems that she even wants to converse already! Mench said Bianca's like a kuting pag nabababy-talk. Nakakatuwa talaga! She also likes it pag ginugulat sya.

Funny, last Sunday, Mom attempted to give Bianca a bath. But maybe because Lola is not duly authorized to bathe her, Bianca was crying all throughout her bath. I videoed the whole thing and I don't know what to feel. Nakakatawa the way Mom bathed her but nakakaawa si Bianca 'coz she's crying at the top of her lungs! May luha pa talaga!

Hay naku Bianca!

It's our first year wedding anniversary!

Bid me discourse,

I will enchant thine ear;

Or like a fairy, trip upon the green;

Or like a nymph, with long, dishevelled hair,

Dance on the sands, and yet no footing seen.

Love is a spirit all compact of fire

Not gross to sink, but light, and will aspire.

- William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616)

English poet and playwright

I love you mahal!

I still have the fever

My blog friend, Wella, has been kidding me that I still write about weddings in my blog. Perhaps I feel like I'm an aspiring wedding coordinator, or I just simply love weddings.

I still have the hangover on my own wedding almost a year ago.

Just yesterday, I was surfing the Net looking at the sites and craving at the creations of Dino Lara, Mimi and Karl, Cecilio Abad and Veluz Reyes.

Their works are just soooo great I think I am already salivating.

Why do I still have the fever? I certainly do not know, but definitely there a lot of reasons.

Perhaps because I will be attending 4 weddings this year (I think the most I've attended in a year and at one of which I was tapped to be the emcee! Whewwwww!).

Perhaps I'm a frustrated or aspiring wedding coordinator (I have been urging a sister-in-law to choose a burgundy or wine red and gold motif for her December wedding, gave a friend a lot of wawie tips for her 080808 wedding and gave her the contact number of my favorite makeup artists Angie and Ogie).

Perhaps I love up dressing up on the nines for occassions.

Perhaps I enjoy the friendships I made with my favorite suppliers and keep on recommending them to engaged friends.

Perhaps, I just love reminiscing about my wedding over and over again. It was the moment I felt I was at my prettiest (they say a woman is at her most beautiful on her wedding day. Walang kokontra! Hehehe!). It was indeed the happiest day of my and Mike's lives.

I could still remember every detail of that day as if it happened just yesterday.

And perhaps because, in 2 days, it will be our first wedding anniversary. Maybe my mind and body is in the same feelings and senses as it was on the same day in 2006.

That is, having the wedding fever and wanting to get married all over again.

Of course, to Mike pa rin! Nobody else.

Wedding etiquettes

I've come across the article below from weddingsatwork.com, the single most helpful source for my own wedding day (which marks its first year on the 29th!). Had most of my guests read the article below, it is very much well appreciated if they had observed good manners and etiquette at a wedding. I would have greatly pleased if some guests informed us that they wouldn't be able to make it, we could have invited those who are more deserving because of their sincerest intention to attend. Not included in the Q&A below was the effort of keeping the sanctity and intimacy of the event, rather than creating loud shrieks and hollers at the reception. I like fun and lively guests, minus the unnecessary and pointless screams (what was that?!).

To all veterans and newbies at wedding attendance, let me share to you some pointers on wedding etiquettes. It helps to be reminded sometimes. I know for this year there will be lot of weddings to go to (for me there are about 4 weddings) and these manners will somehow uplift your character and represent you as a well-mannered and a person with good breeding. (Lack of good manners and etiquette just peeve me!).

-------------------------------

You're Invited!
Q & A for Wedding Guests
by: John & Benz Rana

Article originally appeared in print: 12.03.05

It's December once again and it not just time for Christmas shopping and partying, but it's also time for weddings! It's the peak season for tying-the-knot in this part of the earth. So how many wedding invites have you gotten so far?

Unless you're serial bride like J.Lo (saying Liz Taylor would have been more accurate at this point but we want to be "kewl" to relate with the Gen Y peeps!), we figured that most of us would be along the pews more often than being at THE altar. This is the reason why we dedicate this month's column to the wedding guest - the person who gets to prepare the least during the wedding.

Never mind the bride! We're sure she has read countless of wedding etiquette to last 'til her unborn son finally gets married. Actually, she's got too much info that she even prepares a Miss Manners list for her groom and her entire entourage to follow.

If it's your first time attending a wedding, what follows is a simple guide of Dos & Don'ts to get through such a social event. Note that we made these questions up so allow us to be sarcastic and blunt with some of our responses to ourselves.

Questions & Answers

Q. I got an invite but have no plans of attending; should I still send a gift?

A. First thing's first. If you won't be able to attend for whatever reason, please RSVP. A big chunk of the wedding budget goes to the reception and it will be utterly inconsiderate to just give up a reserved seat without letting the couple know. Give them the chance to assign that seat to another guest in their "waitlist." Having that out of the way, let's get to your question: YES, it is customary to still send a gift.

Q. The envelope bears only my name. May I ask if I can bring a date?

A. Don't bring a date unless your invitation specifically says "and Guest." Bringing unexpected guests is very impolite. Neither should you ask the couple's permission if you may bring one or not. Don't put your friends on the spot. We Filipinos don't really like turning down people. So how would you know if their "Yes" means yes or not? Spare them that trouble.

Q. The invite says "Mr. & Mrs." Could we bring our kids?

A. Never bring the kids unless "& Family" is indicated. Soon-to-weds don't usually invite children for a good reason. Kids get bored or cranky during hour-long masses. Their tantrums might disrupt the solemnity of the ceremony. Weddings are usually formal events typically not appropriate for the little ones. To be blunt about it, inviting a child at the reception means added two mouths to feed - the kid's and the yaya's.

Follow-up Q. But my son/daughter is the bearer/flower girl. I'm sure it's understood that my other child is invited.

A. Which part of the answer above didn't you understand? Seriously, if the couple wanted to invite your other kid, they would have specified that on the envelope.
2nd follow-up

Q. But I'm breastfeeding, I'm sure my friends will understand, won't they?

A. Granting that it's an infant and he or she won't eat at the reception - let's even assume that your baby won't wail at the church - the answer is still NO! Not even if you've perfected the art of being a cow in a long gown. Four words: Breast Pump and Babysitter!

Q. I don't have a clue what gift to give them. Any ideas?

A. The average Pinoy soon-to-wed would always prefer monetary gifts more than any other gift. It is the unspoken fact. We're telling you now to make it easier for them to let you know what they REALLY want; unless they indicated that already in their invites which, by the way, is a very tacky thing to do.
If you're not comfortable giving cash, you may ask the couple where they are registered (Gift / Bridal Registry) and choose from what's listed under their names in the store. You can also ask them where they're residing after the wedding and take the cue from there. If you know that they'll be migrating abroad or living with their parents for the time being, a ref or another oven toaster may not be the most practical and logical gift.

Q. I'm convinced. So how much cash should I give them? I don't want to give too little or too much.

A. That's a hard thing to answer. It's really a case-to-case thing. Try to put yourself in the couple's shoes. How much should a guest of your stature give you without being branded a cheapskate? Also consider your relationship with the couple. If you're good friends of the couple's parents, you'll probably shell-out more than if you were simply the bride's Girl Friday.

Q. Could I skip the ceremony and head straight to the reception?

A. You can. BUT you shouldn't! You are invited to THE wedding -- that's the part where they exchange their "I dos." The reception is where the Receiving Line is. You can't be 'received' if you are already seated in the hall, right? "Patay-gutom" is too harsh a word and we assure you that it's by no means what anyone would think if indeed you decide to go straight to the reception. But admit that it struck a nerve just mentioning the word in that context, isn't it?

Q. Speaking of the Receiving Line, what should be the proper greeting?

A. Here's the rule: Say "Congratulations" to the groom and "Best Wishes" to the bride. The reason behind is that "congrats" implies that someone has caught something or won a prize, and it is rather improper to imply that the bride "caught" the man who married her. If this rule gets mixed-up in your head come wedding day, just say the two phrases together and look at both of them. That usually works!
Likewise, saying "Good Luck!" no matter how pure your wishes are will also sound very inappropriate for obvious reasons.

Q. Nice try, but what if the couple makes a Grand Entrance and left the Receiving Line to their parents? What then should I tell them? Note that I don't even know which sets of parents are whose.

A. Didn't we tell you already not to skip the ceremony? The bride and groom usually walk alongside their respective parents at the very start!
Anyway, make your pleasantries short and sweet. Shake their hands and say "Hello! I'm (your name) and I went to school with (name of bride/groom) in (school's name)/an officemate of (name of bride/groom) at (name of company)." They usually respond with "Nice meeting you." Just smile, nod politely, and move on to the next person. If one replies "Hi! I've heard so much about you!", simply smile and nod just the same. No lengthy conversation; just make small talk at most. If you can't find the words to say, just smile again, nod politely, and move.

Q. During the banquet, is there anything I need to know?

A. Nowadays, the Reception Program usually have the guests on each table stand up and have their picture taken with the couple before being led to the buffet. This is done to resolve two issues of past weddings: (a) for the couple's convenience and skip the tiring Table-Hopping ritual just to have their picture taken with all their guests; and (b) for the guests' convenience so they won't have to wait very long for their turn in the buffet line.
Keep in mind that Buffet is NOT synonymous with "Eat-All-You-Can." Do not pile your plate full. Be courteous of those who have yet to be served. Don't worry. You can easily go for seconds.

Q. I'm used to a Buffet setting, but what if it's a formal Sit-Down Dinner? Which fork do I start with again?

A. You're on your own, pal. Watch "Pretty Woman" again and see how Julia Roberts nailed it!

babies and etc

life makes sense when you see how simple a child can be...

School versus on-the-job

I came across the article below at CNNMoney.com. I thought the ideas resemble a bit to those of the famed Rich Dad, Poor Dad series wherein it says that schools don't necessarily teach at how to earn money, but they rather let you learn only the theories. It doesn't write off formal learning though, but it reiterates that social skills and a person's out-of-the-box thinking and abilities can also make one get to the top.

____________________________

The trouble with MBAs

Employers are finding that freshly minted graduates lack key interpersonal skills, so B-schools are changing to ensure that quantitative geniuses also learn how to hug it out.

By Anne Fisher, Fortune senior writer
April 23 2007: 6:31 AM EDT


(Fortune Magazine) -- When Jack Welch gave a guest lecture at MIT's Sloan School of Management in 2005, someone in the crowd asked, "What should we be learning in business school?" Welch's reply: "Just concentrate on networking. Everything else you need to know, you can learn on the job." Sloan's dean, Richard Schmalensee, was stunned because "Jack was essentially saying a graduate business degree was a waste of time."
Not long after that visit, MIT began a curriculum rethink - dialing back on pure quantitative skills and adding more interpersonal coursework. Wharton, Tuck, Chicago, the University of Virginia's Darden, and Berkeley's Haas School, among many others, have also started stressing teamwork and are paying more attention to "soft" skills like listening to colleagues.

What's driving the curriculum shift? B-schools are acting a lot more like businesses these days (gasp) and responding to their various customers - corporate recruiters and students. "MBA students we employ don't need to come in being finance gurus. What's much more important is that they know how to analyze issues and communicate recommendations," says Ken Barnet, a vice president at State Street Corp. (Charts, Fortune 500) who works with both B-school interns and freshly minted MBAs.

The numbers back up Barnet. Every year since 2002, the Graduate Management Admissions Council, which administers the GMAT exam for B-school applicants, has surveyed recruiters. And every year so far, the survey has revealed that several skills employers value most - like the ability to write and speak clearly and persuasively - are also skills that new MBAs lack.
Another spur for the ivory towers to change is competition from online degree programs, which have been eligible for federal student-loan funding since February 2006. Not only is an Internet degree more convenient to get, but a recent survey by employment site Vault.com says 81% of hiring managers look more favorably on job candidates with virtual sheepskins than they did five years ago, and 41% now think an online degree is just as good as a "real" one.

The syllabus changes are most noticeable at the hard-core quant schools. At the University of Chicago, the only course that every single MBA candidate must take in order to graduate is a communications and team-building course, in which specially trained second-year students coach and mentor newbies. Last year Chicago added Spring Launch, a series of seminars for graduating MBAs to help them polish their people skills before they rejoin the working world.
Likewise, in 2005, Wharton - home of econometrics and other arcane quantitative tools - began offering a leadership program that emphasizes one-on-one counseling from professional coaches. It's a hit: Enrollment has nearly doubled, from 50 students two years ago to 90 now. Balaji Krish, who came to Wharton from India by way of Silicon Valley, will graduate this spring. He says the altered curriculum has prepared him for a "team-oriented world. You work on ten to 15 different teams before you leave here."

Students, meanwhile, have pushed for some changes too - notably a greater focus on business ethics. Starting this fall, the Tuck School at Dartmouth will offer a course on using microfinance as a tool for alleviating global poverty. "They want to learn how to give shareholders a great return while also being balanced and principled. It's the double bottom line," says Tuck's dean Paul Danos.

That's not to say that plain old self-interest has fallen by the wayside. The Yale School of Management, for one, just added a required course for first-year students that teaches them how to plan a career, including how to cope with "stressors like job loss [and] aging," the course description says. Notes Jonathan Feinstein, the prof who designed and teaches the course: "We want to stretch their minds to realize that a career is a long-range project."
Ultimately that kind of thinking will help B-schools prosper too. "If our students leave here and get great first jobs but don't succeed in the long run, we've failed," says Stacey Kole, deputy dean of the full-time MBA program at Chicago. "We want them to be successful as their careers evolve." Employers, not to mention MBAs themselves, couldn't agree more.

Guestlists and Guests

One of the hardest things in planning a wedding is coming up with your guest list. Part of our Pinoy culture is to invite everyone we know. Be it be our bosom friends, former classmates, colleagues, relatives up to the nth degree, acquaintances, family friends, even people we are not close with. An engaged couple is expected to generate the list most of the time just to please everybody and make happy anyone that will come along their way.

But in these hard times, it is just not practical to invite the whole bayan. Mainly because budget is such a huge consideration in making a wedding possible. Wedding reception comprises already the 60% of the total budget. And how much that percentage actually translates into cash depends on how many you are inviting.

Just where do you start writing the names? It is just as difficult as recalling which people have made your life totally worth it. Of course, your immediate family and relatives must be part of your special day. Your friends, colleagues, family friends, brothers and sister in the faith, which are currently and have been part of your lives, whether when you were single or engaged, count too.

You have all the names, but keeping them to your minimum number is a lot harder. When you’re working to a 150 list, you need all the necessary reasons why someone deserves the honor of being invited. After all, it will be an issue why someone was not part of the list (as if it was a royal wedding J ). Only the couple has the single right on who becomes a part of their special day. They will solely decide and no one has to intervene on that.

But just how satisfied a couple is with their guestlist after the wedding? Just as in any project or cashflow, expect something like 15-20% downfall with the forecast. In our case, some of the downfall cancelled a week before which allowed us to replace the slots. During the actual day, two tables were missing with people. These people were the ones who confirmed in attending but sadly, didn’t show up. It was really unfortunate. These were already counted and paid heads. It is really gracious that when you can’t really make it, let the couple know. I had friends who won’t be able to come who informed me days before or even the day itself. That is was well taken, since a lot of these people had their valid reasons for not coming. But there are some who really didn’t care. Not even a word. It is just not their disregard but the people who we might have taken in. We carefully made the list making sure that everyone important to us is there.

But if these people didn’t realize the inconsideration, we might as well invited people who are sincerely happy for us. We took out of the list friends whom we haven’t seen for years, but days after our wedding genuinely congratulated us. We excluded people whom there have been petty gaps, but were there when the family needed them. We wanted to save face, but it our own guilt that is affecting us. The uninvited members of the congregation were the ones who wished us really well the way we weren’t made feel by those invited. I remember one elderly brother who weakly shook our hands and expressed how joyful he is for us and how he thought we were perfectly made for each other. I felt so guilty that time I wanted to put up a party just for those not there during the day.

It was so heartwarming that there are people who really cared and genuine, which in turn, doesn’t mean that all invitees are as sincere as well. I recall a couple, who before our wedding, made comments to my then-fiancé that they will be happy as long as he is happy and they will support him. In Filipino, kung saan ka masaya, suportahan taka. If I could just take them out of the list I would. Their remarks were distasteful and lacked proper breeding. They are quick in making judgments and conclusions. My only message is, Get all your facts right and It is your business to mind your own business!

But then again, it is said that you should never rely your happiness on your whether your guests had a great time, were ecstatic or were actually there at your wedding. After all, you can’t please everybody. Even if you treated them well or spent your last centavo just to serve them the elusive caviar, there will always be statements circulating, whether these are true or just figments of the imagination. I remember a wawie posting a message telling us that do not be sad if your guests had nasty comments, but be sad because you invited someone who is not able to appreciate the honor of being invited. This goes to those who forgot and those who had always something to say. But whatever it is, what is important is getting married. After all, after the wedding, it just falls down to the both of you.